Living in Kolkata has always been enriching and interesting for me....I love this city with all my heart and love my day-to-day living in here. And because I have lived mostly alone in this all-accomodating 'City of Joy' right from the start, I still love it like that....nevertheless I feel lonely at times in this buzz. In a movie I watched recently...it was said that the condition of 'living alone' is overrated, it's not that beautiful and sought after thing all the time. Even for me, who believes 'Solitude is Bliss', this rings true sometimes....seated in an almost empty bus speeding through the EM Bypass in the evening, or walking down a crowded street in a busy summer afternoon -- I longed for the presence of a valued friend by my side....sometimes...not always. The feeling of loneliness does not depress me though...nonetheless tears well up from nowhere in my eyes.
Again at times, I become the self-centred woman for whom the company of self becomes the only and most extremely valued thing of life....then I love to go watch a movie all alone on a lazy Sunday morning or in a rainy afternoon....trust me a good movie while it's raining outside is one of the many things to be thankful for in life...whatever....at these moments again, I need no one .
My life thus, like often the most of the world, oscillates between contentments and cravings, wishes and abandonments, desires and fulfillment.

With Myself..

For me, 'Solitude is bliss'......not that I don't love being with people around me......friends and family do play a very important part.....but I love to have a part of each day with myself....and that is not hard to get mainly when you are in a place which is far away from your nears and dears...everyday thus I get my favourite 'stay-alone'.....And a summer afternoon is well suited to make you feel more pleasant....
The silence all around is saintly....the place in my home where I'm sitting now is by the window overlooking the conifers outside.....the needle leaves sieve the lazy afternoon sunlight....
This is a time when you are alone in a way....but least so in many other......for me.....random thoughts drifting across my mind......and I'm finding myself day-dreaming for a few minutes....missing my dear ones at times.....and thinking.....sometimes I really wonder 'bout the range of the thoughts.....so vast and varied.....and this is one reason why I love being alone......you get ideas, inspirations and at the same time bad ideas and things that can deflate you....but still.....
My jija didi says....whatever we think...however weird it is.....is OK.....my loneliness is a space where I enjoy that OK......and I pray, as The Swedish statesman Daq Hammerskjold said, that my loneliness spur me into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.....